virginia beach

Norfolk to Turn Aging Waterfront Property Into Industrial Wasteland

NORFOLK, Va — In order to preserve the historic character of its downtown, Norfolk City Council officials revealed plans to transform parts of the city’s dilapidated waterfront into an industrial wasteland. Officials call the strategy, developed [read more ... ]

Norfolk Resident Considering Dealing With HRBT Traffic for a Trip to New Publix

NORFOLK, Va. — Weighing the pros and cons of a trip to Williamsburg for a premier grocery store, Norfolk resident Larry Hughes is considering dealing with the notorious Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel traffic for a trip to Publix, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

Virginia Beach Residents Hope That Hurricane Florence Cleans up Boardwalk

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Explaining that the 2018 summer season has been particularly rough in terms of beachgoers’ litter, Virginia Beach residents have their fingers crossed that Hurricane Florence will help clean up the boardwalk, officials [read more ... ]

Virginia Beach Resident Who Regularly Leaves Six-Pack Rings on Beach Upset Turbines Might Kill Birds

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Claiming they will be extraordinarily hazardous to the environment, Virginia Beach resident Shelly Allen, who routinely leaves plastic trash along the beachfront, has launched a protest against the offshore turbines scheduled [read more ... ]

Portsmouth Working to Become “Smart City,” Upgrading From Netscape

PORTSMOUTH, Va. — Stressing the importance of keeping up with technology in a digital age, Portsmouth city officials announced plans to upgrade the citywide internet browser from Netscape to a more modern browser. According to Micah Brookerson, a [read more ... ]

Op-ed: That Law That Prohibits Cursing on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk Is Fucking Bullshit

If you’re a true Virginian who hits the luscious shores of Virginia Beach every other weekend during the summer months, then chances are you’re familiar with one of the state’s most unique laws. The law loosely states that no cursing or swear [read more ... ]

After Long-Standing Rivalry With Cockroaches, House Centipedes Dubbed Official Pest of Norfolk

NORFOLK, Va. — After years locked in an intense stalemate over which household pest reigns supreme, the Norfolk City Council has announced that house centipedes, not cockroaches, will now be the official pest of Norfolk. “The wait is finally [read more ... ]

Saturday Afternoon on Virginia Beach Boardwalk Mistaken for Gathering of the Juggalos

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — What began as a typical Saturday afternoon on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk quickly devolved into chaos as authorities responded to multiple reports of an impromptu Gathering of the Juggalos. Enthusiastic fans of the hip-hop [read more ... ]

Ginuwine Named Grand Marshall of 2018 Chincoteague Pony Swim

CHINCOTEAGUE, Va. — An old tradition got a new twist as organizers of the 93rd annual Chincoteague Pony Swim named R&B singer Ginuwine as the grand marshall in an attempt to bring more tourism dollars to the local economy. The Chincoteague [read more ... ]