virginia beach

Norfolk Resident Considering Dealing With HRBT Traffic for a Trip to Publix

NORFOLK, Va. — Weighing the pros and cons of a trip to Williamsburg for a premier grocery store, Norfolk resident Larry Hughes is considering dealing with the notorious Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel traffic for a trip to Publix, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

“Did you know that the moonshine in ABC stores is fake?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

RICHMOND, Va. — During a recent work happy hour, North Carolina native Steven McComas, who just fucking got here, informed his co-workers that the moonshine sold in ABC stores is actually fake. McComas, who relocated from Raleigh for a job at [read more ... ]

Closure of Public Beaches Improves Virginia Beach by 200% Overnight

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Following Gov. Ralph Northam’s stay-at-home order that included closures of all public beaches, Virginia Beach saw an overall quality improvement of nearly 200% overnight, the Virginia Beach Tourism Board (VBTB) announced [read more ... ]

Is This Man the New Seal of Virginia?

RICHMOND, Va. — In recent months, the United States has been consumed by a fervor of discussion and action centering on revisiting, revising, and in certain cases replacing some of the nation’s oldest historical landmarks and traditions. As [read more ... ]

Op-ed: That Law That Prohibits Cursing on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk Is Fucking Bullshit

If you’re a true Virginian who hits the luscious shores of Virginia Beach every other weekend during the summer months, then chances are you’re familiar with one of the state’s most unique laws. The law loosely states that no cursing or swear [read more ... ]

Bartender Nearing Last Call Can’t Wait to Hear Your Super Original Cover of “Closing Time” at Karaoke

NORFOLK, Va. — Nearing the end of a stressful night, Brian Nasteff, a bartender at popular downtown restaurant and karaoke spot Sully’s Pub, can’t wait to hear your unique and inventive cover of “Closing Time,” sources confirmed Friday. [read more ... ]

“That Study About Our Bad Driving Is Bullshit!” Says Virginia Beach Resident Texting While Driving

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Lamenting the fact that a recent study by online insurance site QuoteWizard declared Virginia Beach drivers among the worst in the nation, Lynnhaven resident Douglas Parklow insisted that the study was complete bullshit in a [read more ... ]

Virginia’s Major Interstates, Ranked by Sexiness

While Virginia is known for a variety of fascinating topics, one particular aspect stands out like a glowing beacon of irresistible lust: infrastructure. So we did the research on Virginia’s major interstates, and have finally reached a [read more ... ]

Virginia Beach Residents Hope That Hurricane Dorian Cleans up Boardwalk

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Explaining that the 2019 summer season has been particularly rough in terms of beachgoers’ litter, Virginia Beach residents have their fingers crossed that Hurricane Dorian will help clean up the boardwalk, officials [read more ... ]