Levar Stoney Hopes You’ll Just Forget the Last Six Months

RICHMOND, Va. — Richmond Mayor Levar Stoney is hoping that voters will simply forget about his leadership in 2020 when heading to the polls, and instead focus on the halcyon days of prior years.

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According to sources, Stoney doesn’t want voters to focus on how his Coliseum/Navy Hill redevelopment plan failed miserably or that the Richmond Police Department teargassed and arrested peaceful Black Lives Matter protesters and ran their SUVs into pedestrians on his watch.  

Instead, Stoney is touting his uncontroversial accomplishments like opening three new schools and 1,900 affordable housing units as reasons to re-elect him, as well as making sure city roads are somewhat drivable. 

“I’m the cool, young mayor, bros,” Stoney said while beer bonging a PBR tallboy with constituents in Monroe Park.

“Just look at all I did prior to 2020. Bringing the Pulse buses and Bolt Scooters to our city and keeping systematic racism on the DL. In another four years of my leadership, this city might even be able to clean up Belle Isle or get a grocery store in Manchester.”