McAuliffe Invites All of Star-lite Back to Capitol to Play Cornhole

RICHMOND, Va. — After a Fireball-soaked Saturday night at Star-lite Diner and Lounge, Governor Terry McAuliffe invited everyone in the bar back to his house to play cornhole with him.

Witnesses state that McAuliffe, who is known for his self-proclaimed “high on life” disposition, took his social energy to a new level when he said that it was totally alright with him if a room full of complete strangers traipsed through the highly secured capitol building, located on Bank Street.

“Sure, some people think it’s crazy,” Devon Hargrove, a regular Star-lite patron, commented. “But ole Macker is in here almost every weekend, chatting up the whole damn place, telling everyone stories about the Clintons. He has hinted at this kind of thing in the past. I’ve personally heard him say things like, ‘When are y’all going to come see my Twister pinball machine?’ and ‘Dorothy makes a great banana daiquiri. You really should come have a try!’ So I wasn’t the least bit shocked when he stood on that barstool and announced, ‘Party at the Executive Mansion! I’ve got cornhole and a kegerator!’”

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The announcement was made around 1:30 a.m., and the room filled with cheers and clapping, followed by another round of Fireball shots. The audible excitement suggested that a sizable group would be relocating the party downtown and preparations began at the capitol building.

However, sources say that an “intimate” group of only twelve people actually showed up to the Executive Mansion, where they played cornhole for about 30 minutes until a noticeably disappointed McAuliffe suggested they watch “Avatar” and just chill.

When asked whether he was part of the group that partook in the Governor’s festivities Hargrove stated, “Nah, it sounded fun and everything, but I had a booty call and Assante’s waiting for me at home. Plus, I knew it would be absolute madness, and honestly I just couldn’t hang. McAuliffe is next level savage.”

His Excellency has not been seen at Star-lite since.

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