Tim Kaine

Spanberger Dons Hazmat Suit to Remove Toxic Masculinity From Brat’s Office

WASHINGTON — A routine inspection of Dave Brat’s former office by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration showed critically unsafe levels of toxic masculinity. Upon its discovery last week, workers immediately sealed his office and [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Outed as Mall Santa

RICHMOND, Va. — Former lawyer and Richmond mayoral candidate Joe Morrissey was outed yesterday while moonlighting one of the Santas at Short Pump Town Center. RELATED (article continued below): Don’t want to go to a mall for your last [read more ... ]

Corey Stewart Enters Reconstruction Period

DULUTH, Minn. — After being declared the loser in last Tuesday’s election only minutes after the polls closed, U.S. Senate candidate Corey Stewart must once again face a familiar dilemma — figuring out the next thing he can fail spectacularly [read more ... ]

Sulking Dave Brat Cheers up After Being Reminded He No Longer Has to Deal With Female Constituents

RICHMOND, Va. — Weeping in the aftermath of defeat in the Virginia midterm election, Rep. Dave Brat, R-7th, cheered up after being reminded that his district contained women, sources confirmed Wednesday morning. “It’s really too bad he [read more ... ]

Corey Stewart Learns of Defeat via Telegraph

RICHMOND, Va. — In an awkward exchange early this morning, Republican Senatorial candidate Corey Stewart was informed via telegraph of his loss in the 2018 Election to Tim Kaine before a crowd of reporters. Stewart had been giving a passionate and [read more ... ]

Corey Stewart Voter Writes In Andrew Jackson for Other Positions

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Election Day has arrived in the Commonwealth, and Chesterfield resident Erica Randall is eager to show her support for Republican Senatorial candidate Corey Stewart. However, like many voters, Randall forgot that there were [read more ... ]

“Who’s Running in This Bitch Again?” Asks Shitfaced Terry McAuliffe in Voting Line on Election Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Reeking of various craft beers, a heavily intoxicated former Gov. Terry McAuliffe loudly yelled for someone to tell him who was running in the election, sources confirmed Tuesday. According to accounts, the former governor arrived [read more ... ]

VCU Student’s Civic Responsibility Stops at Free Sticker

RICHMOND, Va. — While young voters across the Commonwealth mobilize ahead of the midterm elections, one VCU student has decided that her responsibilities as an American citizen and Virginia resident stop right around the point of getting a free [read more ... ]

Stoney and Stone Brewing Sponsor Free Party Busses to Polls on Election Day

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to bolster voter turnout for next week’s midterm election, Mayor Levar Stoney and Stone Brewing Co. have partnered up to offer Richmond residents free rides to their polling places on Tuesday. RELATED (article [read more ... ]