Tim Kaine

Virginia Pretty Sure Racism Is Finally Over After Learning Lesson From Blackface Scandals

RICHMOND, Va. — Reassuring themselves that all future problems regarding race have now been solved, all 8.52 million residents of Virginia feel confident that racism is finally over following the blackface scandals involving Gov. Ralph Northam and [read more ... ]

Tim Kaine Rejected by Fifth Jam Band He Tries to Join

ARLINGTON, Va. — A devastated Sen. Tim Kaine has just been rejected as the harmonica player for local jam band Intergalactic HASHbrown Experience, sources confirmed Friday. RELATED (article continued below): Terry McAuliffe Drunkenly Screams for [read more ... ]

Bob and Maureen McDonnell Fighting Over Who Will Get Ferrari

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Moving forward with their upcoming divorce, former Gov. Bob McDonnell and his wife Maureen were spotted out together for the first time since going public with the news. Not surprisingly, they arguing over who would get the [read more ... ]

State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that he had no idea he was even in the line of succession to become the leader of the Commonwealth, Frank Donahue, the State Capitol’s head janitor, arrived at work to discover that he was now Virginia’s governor, [read more ... ]

Abortion Controversy Only Second Worse Thing to Happen to White Male Governor This Week

RICHMOND, Va. — Doubling down on contentious topics within days of each other, Gov. Ralph Northam is in deep water for allegations of racist costumes from a college yearbook photos after making controversial claims on late-term abortions. RELATED [read more ... ]

Ralph Northam Defending Himself, Uses Justin Fairfax to Prove He Has Black Friends

RICHMOND, Va — After an image from his college yearbook page depicting a man dressed in KKK attire and a man in blackface came to light on Friday, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam would like to remind Virginians that he is friends with Lt. Gov. Justin [read more ... ]

McAuliffe Finally Returns Home From NYE Party at Executive Mansion

RICHMOND, Va. — Having had enough of keg stands and dancing, Terry McAuliffe finally decided to head home yesterday after enjoying New Years Eve festivities at the Executive Mansion. RELATED (article continued below): Terry McAuliffe Drunkenly [read more ... ]

Spanberger Dons Hazmat Suit to Remove Toxic Masculinity From Brat’s Office

WASHINGTON — A routine inspection of Dave Brat’s former office by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration showed critically unsafe levels of toxic masculinity. Upon its discovery last week, workers immediately sealed his office and [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Outed as Mall Santa

RICHMOND, Va. — Former lawyer and Richmond mayoral candidate Joe Morrissey was outed yesterday while moonlighting one of the Santas at Short Pump Town Center. RELATED (article continued below): Don’t want to go to a mall for your last [read more ... ]