News Peed

Guy Who Brings Napkins Every Year to Friendsgiving Not Even Trying

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Proving to be a total disappointment to his group of friends yet another year in a row, Steve Elmont showed up to a Friendsgiving event with nothing but hundreds and hundreds of napkins again, sources confirmed Thursday.

“It’s like he’s not even trying,” Carol Rhinehart, a source close to the group of friends, commented, adding that the napkins weren’t even the higher quality fancy ones but instead the cheapest storebrand type sold at Costco.

“Look, I understand that the last year or so has been pretty difficult, but how hard would it have been to show up with something other than a thousand-pack of cheap napkins? There’s only like nine of us. He could’ve easily gotten a pack of craft beer and some dinner rolls for under $20. Seriously, put your fucking back into it, man. It’s no surprise his family didn’t invite him to Thanksgiving this year — he probably would’ve shown up with toothpicks. ”

At the time of reporting, Elmont was reportedly trying to save face with his friends, promising that he’d up his game next year by bringing tartar sauce.

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