Tidewater

Closure of Public Beaches Improves Virginia Beach by 200% Overnight

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Following Gov. Ralph Northam’s stay-at-home order that included closures of all public beaches, Virginia Beach saw an overall quality improvement of nearly 200% overnight, the Virginia Beach Tourism Board (VBTB) announced [read more ... ]

Op-ed: That Law That Prohibits Cursing on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk Is Fucking Bullshit

If you’re a true Virginian who hits the luscious shores of Virginia Beach every other weekend during the summer months, then chances are you’re familiar with one of the state’s most unique laws. The law loosely states that no cursing or swear [read more ... ]

Williamsburg Colonist Actor Really Getting on British Patrolman Actor’s Nerves

COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — According to eyewitness accounts on and around Duke of Gloucester Street, Williamsburg colonist reenactor Frederick Blacker has really been getting on the nerves of British patrolman reenactor Roger Smith. Recently [read more ... ]

“That Study About Our Bad Driving Is Bullshit!” Says Virginia Beach Resident Texting While Driving

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Lamenting the fact that a recent study by online insurance site QuoteWizard declared Virginia Beach drivers among the worst in the nation, Lynnhaven resident Douglas Parklow insisted that the study was complete bullshit in a [read more ... ]

Report: Holy Shit It’s in the 60s

RICHMOND, Va. — Following a streak of unseasonably warm weather, citizens around Richmond and much of the commonwealth rejoiced today as it stayed in the fucking 60s outside, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Holy shit, this is awesome,” [read more ... ]

We Sent a Writer to Report on the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel and He Died Trying to Hold His Breath Through It

NORFOLK, Va. — What was supposed to be an in-depth look at the crumbling infrastructure of a vital transportation link for the seven cities instead turned into a tragedy for the family and friends of VCU junior Topher Ginsburg and for everyone at [read more ... ]

VDOT to Install Porta Potties on Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel

HAMPTON, Va. — Citing the continued increase of heavy traffic on Interstate 64, VDOT has announced the addition of porta potties on the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel, sources confirmed Monday. According to a press release from Ryan Kilbourne, Deputy [read more ... ]

After Long-Standing Rivalry With Cockroaches, House Centipedes Dubbed Official Pest of Norfolk

NORFOLK, Va. — After years locked in an intense stalemate over which household pest reigns supreme, the Norfolk City Council has announced that house centipedes, not cockroaches, will now be the official pest of Norfolk. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Norfolk Dad on Family Shopping Trip Upset Only Bench Outside of Victoria’s Secret Already Taken

NORFOLK, Va. — Unwilling to face his daughter’s sexuality, Ghent resident Larry Ramsey was forced to stand awkwardly outside the Victoria’s Secret in MacArthur Center yesterday after discovering the nearby bench was already occupied by another [read more ... ]