Museum District Hipster Gets the Spanish Flu
RICHMOND, Va. — Amidst the spread of coronavirus throughout the state of Virginia, a hipster from the museum district has incredibly been diagnosed with the infamous Spanish flu, sources confirmed Thursday.
The Strangeways Brewing bartender and self-described “purveyor of eccentricities” Chris Rollins was admitted to the VCU Medical Center last night after having a severe cough and fever. After testing negative for coronavirus, doctors were shocked to discover that Rollins tested positive for the Spanish flu, the disease that is estimated to have killed as many as 100 million people from 1918 to 1920.
Rollins, who is known for his offbeat sense of fashion, lifestyle, and penchant to quote Quentin Tarantino movies, which he believes are very underrated, is expected to make a full recovery. Though it is unclear how Rollins got sick, several of his friends believe it has to do with his “unique” lifestyle.
“This is the first Spanish flu case I’ve seen during my career,” ICU Intensivist Amber Wiley said, “It was totally unexpected, but from what I understand of our unique patient, he has never been one to follow norms and expectations. To be honest, I find it very attractive. I wonder if he’s single.”
Friends of Rollins say they wish him a quick recovery, despite their slight annoyance that he capitalizes on every opportunity to inform everyone of his unique interests and passions. “Whether it was trading obscure German rock vinyl records for vintage clothing,” friend Mike Hasel commented, “or collecting upcycled discarded doorknobs from renovated Church Hill homes, Chris has always enjoyed older things, being the old soul that he is. Maybe, the flu chose him because of this?”
“Or,” Hasel continued, “he could have found a way to get the Spanish flu just to be different. He’s never been one to follow the crowd, that’s for sure.”
Dr. Wiley reports that Rollins is doing well but remains hospitalized, as he also tested positive for leprosy.
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