News Peed

BREAKING: Donald Trump To Hold Rally At Strange Matter In Support Of Ed Gillespie

RICHMOND, Va. In a show of support for Republican gubernatorial candidate Ed Gillespie, President Donald Trump announced today plans to hold a last-minute rally in Richmond, Virginia tonight at local venue Strange Matter.

Strange Matter, a popular restaurant and music venue located within the VCU community, is known for its “dive bar” atmosphere that has played host to punk and metal concerts since the 1970s.

“Ed and I, we go way back with the Richmond music scene to the days of Hard Times and Twisters,” recounted Trump at an impromptu press conference. “I can’t even count how many times we saw White Cross destroy the place. We had the best pits going at those shows. Absolutely amazing. Ed knew all the best bands coming up. Seriously, the best ones.”

“And his record collection, let me just tell you that it is huge, absolutely tremendous,” he continued.

Trump, who is promoting the rally with the phrase “Make Richmond Hardcore Again,” also made references to the music scene that developed after Richmond’s older punk scene.

“Then you had the Floodzone, Ed was always at the Floodzone” he recounted. “He also knows hows to pronounce Fugazi the right way. Definitely not a poser, believe me.”

However, his recent announcement has already been met protest from some regular patrons of the venue.

“What the hell is he coming here for? We all hate that guy, and we hate Gillespie just as much.” remarked Steven Dunlap, who has been a regular at Strange Matter for over five years. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I saw four people wearing that Municipal Waste shirt that has that cartoon of Trump shooting himself at a gig last weekend. It’s fucking great, actually.”

Another patron, known only as “Char,” was skeptical of any political party holding a rally at the venue. “Honestly, I don’t believe in any government shit whatsoever. Total anarchist.”

Despite any criticisms, Trump will still hold the rally as planned, and tweeted the following to those in opposition: “Looks like Richmond has a lot of phonies in the scene. NOT GOOD”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: