RICHMOND, Va. — Describing the results as completely stunning, a recount of election ballots across Virginia found that hip hop artist Kanye West won the state’s Presidential vote, senior election officials confirmed Wednesday.
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“Well, just — damn,” Kelly Marshalls, the Director of Operations for the Virginia Elections Committee, uttered in a press conference addressing the results, adding that an unprecedented amount of voters throughout the Commonwealth simply wrote in the celebrity’s name on their ballot.
“Despite over 2.4 million votes going to Democratic candidate Joe Biden, through a tedious recount we found that millions of voters across the state either wrote in Kanye West, Kanye, Yeezus, or one of his other monikers, for president. To be honest, we didn’t even think Kanye had that many fans in Virginia, but I guess after the results of the 2016 Election, nothing should surprise us anymore.”
“He was also written in to be Sheriff for Tappahannock, but we think that might have been a mistake from locals in the Northern Neck,” Marshalls added.
Marshalls ended her statement by noting that officials would soon be determining what political color Virginia would now display on election maps, as Biden’s now second place status would mean that the Commonwealth is no longer blue.