News Peed

Amanda Chase Platform Reduced To Tailgating in Cracker Barrel Parking Lot

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Following a 60 day suspension from her official Facebook page for her participation in Wednesday’s riot at the Capitol Building in Washington D.C., Sen. Amanda Chase (R-11th) has shifted her outreach platform to tailgating in the parking lot of a Cracker Barrel restaurant, officials confirmed Saturday.

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“Since Facebook no longer believes in the sacred right to free speech, I’m going somewhere that does,” Chase, a gubernatorial candidate for this year’s election, said into a microphone while standing on the back of a 2005 Chevrolet Silverado in the front parking lot of the Cracker Barrel located on Midlothian Turnpike, accusing the social media platform of violating her First Amendment rights.

“You can find me here every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday at 5:30 p.m. — and Sundays for brunch — where we’ll proudly continue to uphold our constitutional freedoms and fight the liberal corruption that stole the 2020 Election from us. Also, Wednesday night is their chicken and dumplings special, which is one hell of a deal.”

“Order online for curbside pickup and use promo code Chase2021 for 10% off,” she continued. 

Supporters were eager to show up in person to engage with the embattled senator, turning up by the dozen to hold up homemade drawings of thumbs ups and angry emojis in correspondence with Chase’s remarks. Dave Kornacki, 58, of Mechanicsville, was especially delighted with the choice of venue.

“Oh I’m a regular here; the chicken-fried steak and I go way back,” Kornacki explained. “So if I can fill my belly with a good meal and fill my ears with real gospel from a true patriot like Amanda Chase, well, that’s what I call a night out.”

A self-described “Trump In Heels,” Chase has come under heavy scrutiny following recent statements on Facebook in which she glorified her involvement in a failed coup that resulted in the deaths of four rioters and one Capitol Police officer. For her part, Chase believes Facebook’s reaction as a private company was an infringement of her right to free speech, and sought the only venue that could reliably attract like-minded support.

“When those snowflakes at Facebook kicked me out of their liberal safe space, I knew there was only one place for me to find an outlet,” Chase continued as staffers counted the reaction placards raised among the crowd. “The parking lot of a reasonably priced family dining establishment with both a problematic history of racial, gender, and LGBTQ discrimination and a country gift shop.”

Chase went on to explain that her campaign had lined up the Bass Pro Shops in Hanover County as a potential backup location if necessary.

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