Rotunda Statue of Thomas Jefferson to Be Replaced by Statue of Tony Bennett

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Following the Cavalier’s triumph in the NCAA tournament final last night, officials at the University of Virginia have announced plans to replace the statue of university founder Thomas Jefferson with one of men’s basketball coach Tony Bennett.

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“Tony Bennett has brought the school and the city of Charlottesville together unlike anyone before him,” James E. Ryan, the university’s president, said in a statement, noting that accomplishments such as being the primary author of the Declaration of Independence and being the third president of the United States didn’t compare to winning a college basketball tournament.

“As a founding father of both our university and our nation, TJ did a lot for us, but it’s not every year we’re NCAA champions. As far as we’re concerned, this is the dawning of a new era for the school, and it’s all because of our newfound leader, hero, and saint: Tony Bennett.”

“We think it’s what Jefferson would’ve wanted, too,” he added.

Ryan finished his statement by adding that a statue of team shooting guard Kyle Guy was also in the planning process and will be placed in the heart of the Lawn later this year.

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