RICHMOND, Va. — Following warnings from both the National Weather Service and the National Gastronomy Service, Richmond residents have begun boarding windows and preparing their homes for the imminent threat of Hurricane Guy Fieri. When word came that the popular TV star was on his way to Richmond, residents began preparing for the worst.
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“We heard about it on the news and figured we should act fast,” says Fan resident Marvin Dayton. “Better safe than sorry.”
Residential homes aren’t the only ones preparing for his arrival. According to Galaxy Diner owner Steve Barner, he isn’t waiting to hear the rumble of the storm’s late 60’s Camaro before taking precautions.
“We’re not taking chances on this one,” he said in a recent interview, adding that he was securing all of his kitchen’s belongings in preparation for the worst. “If he strengthens as he makes his way through Scott’s Addition, there’s no telling how much damage he may do to our kitchen. We’re closing for this one.”
“Hopefully he stalls out at ZZQ,” he added. “If he weakens while feasting on their brisket, we may stand a chance.”
Residents are advised to turn off the lights and stay away from the windows. He may want to cook for you.