Joe Morrissey Adds 17-Year-Old Aspiring Law Student to Divorce Legal Team

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming the late-aged teenager was a perfect addition to his team, Sen. Joe Morrissey (D-16) has added 17-year-old student Sarah Laukler to the legal counsel handling his divorce with his wife Myrna, sources confirmed Wednesday.

“I met Sarah at a private function last month, and I can tell you right now that she’s going places,” Morrissey said in an interview, highlighting that the aspiring law student would be getting some great experience from working on his team.

“Sarah is smart, ambitious, well-rounded, a hard worker, under budget, petite — she’s just what we’re looking to add to our counsel. She’ll have availability on weekends when everyone is off, and we’ve worked out her scheduling with her other employer at Cold Stone Creamery. Plus, she wants to go to UVA, my alma mater, so we’re sure to have a lot in common.”

Morrissey noted that if she produced good results, a special internship within his office once the divorce is finalized was not out of the question.