Joe Morrissey Hired as President Trump’s New Personal Counsel

WASHINGTON — Breaking news from the White House as recently disbarred, and not as recently disgraced, Richmond attorney Joe Morrissey has been introduced as President Trump’s new personal counsel. Citing Morrissey’s storied experience with sexual indiscretions and the fact that the President “really liked the cut of his jib,” Morrissey will be taking over the President’s defense team.

RELATED (article continued below):

• Joe Morrissey Hosts “Gentlemen’s Club Afterparty” Following Dedicated Campaign
• Op-ed: I Can’t Prove It but I’ve Never Seen Joe Morrissey and Anthony Weiner in the Same Place

“I’m telling you, this man is a tremendous attorney, just tremendous,” President Trump remarked in an official statement, visibly excited over his recent hire. “You have to admire a guy who served in political office while on work release from a county jail. Joey even tells me that could be in the cards for a President too, if this all goes sideways.”

When asked as to how he expects to defend the President without a law license, Morrissey responded, “Shhhhh no one tell him, the check hasn’t cleared yet.”

Can’t get enough of The Peedmont? You should see our online store.