Guy Who Just Hiked Through Four Miles of Appalachian Trail Even More Annoying Than Before

RADFORD, Va. — After hiking just four miles of the Appalachian Trail, southwest Virginia native Gary Vanderbuilt has not shut up about it and is even more annoying than before, report sources close to him.  

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Vanderbuilt, a business student at Radford University and “human who loves nature” according to his Instagram bio, is planning to hike the entire trail after graduation.

“Today was just a practice round for when I backpack it all next summer,” Vanderbuilt said to his roommate Todd Hammeil upon returning. “I didn’t want to stop. I could’ve just kept on going. I felt truly alive.”

Despite having only walked 0.18% of the trail’s 2,200 miles, Vanderbuilt had no shortage of photos and selfies to share, posting six times on his Instagram feed about the hike along with the hashtags #hiker, #appalachiantrail, #mountainclimber, #nature, #newadventures, #healthylifestyle, #vegan, #homegrown, #climatechange, #thebesttrailmixisjustplainalmonds, and #sundayfunday. 

One of these pictures depicts him doing a yoga pose in front of a mountain captioned with the ubiquitous John Muir quote, “The mountains are calling and I must go.” Vanderbuilt managed to post this on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, and Pinterest all within minutes of getting off the trail. Additional reports confirm that he posted a second time the following day on all of the social media platforms.

“I liked the same photo of his four times in one hour,” Lisa Gibbons, Vanderbuilt’s classmate, said. “It’s like he’s just hiking for attention.”

At press time, Vanderbuilt was seen reading “Into the Wild” and telling anyone who would listen about Chris McCandless.

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