Suffolk

Richmond’s Only Snowplow Guy Absolutely Thrilled for Coming Storm

RICHMOND, Va. — As the city prepares for inclement weather, Jerry Walters, the operator of Richmond’s one and only snowplow, announced today that he is more than ready for the imminent snowstorm. “There ain’t nothing this rig can’t [read more ... ]

VDOT to Install Porta Potties on Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel

HAMPTON, Va. — Citing the continued increase of heavy traffic on Interstate 64, VDOT has announced the addition of porta potties on the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel, sources confirmed Monday. According to a press release from Ryan Kilbourne, Deputy [read more ... ]

Norfolk Man Discovers Portsmouth Still Exists

NORFOLK, Va. — Local resident Mark Buckner was stunned this week to learn that Portsmouth, Virginia is still a city. Buckner, 25, reacted to the news of Portsmouth’s continuing existence with genuine astonishment. The Hampton Roads city was [read more ... ]

“Did you know that the moonshine in ABC stores is fake?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

RICHMOND, Va. — During a recent work happy hour, North Carolina native Steven McComas, who just fucking got here, informed his co-workers that the moonshine sold in ABC stores is actually fake. McComas, who relocated from Raleigh for a job at [read more ... ]

Op-ed: That Law That Prohibits Cursing on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk Is Fucking Bullshit

If you’re a true Virginian who hits the luscious shores of Virginia Beach every other weekend during the summer months, then chances are you’re familiar with one of the state’s most unique laws. The law loosely states that no cursing or swear [read more ... ]

Virginia Beach Residents Hope That Hurricane Dorian Cleans up Boardwalk

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Explaining that the 2019 summer season has been particularly rough in terms of beachgoers’ litter, Virginia Beach residents have their fingers crossed that Hurricane Dorian will help clean up the boardwalk, officials [read more ... ]

We Sent a Writer to Report on the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel and He Died Trying to Hold His Breath Through It

NORFOLK, Va. — What was supposed to be an in-depth look at the crumbling infrastructure of a vital transportation link for the seven cities instead turned into a tragedy for the family and friends of VCU junior Topher Ginsburg and for everyone at [read more ... ]

After Long-Standing Rivalry With Cockroaches, House Centipedes Dubbed Official Pest of Norfolk

NORFOLK, Va. — After years locked in an intense stalemate over which household pest reigns supreme, the Norfolk City Council has announced that house centipedes, not cockroaches, will now be the official pest of Norfolk. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Norfolk Dad on Family Shopping Trip Upset Only Bench Outside of Victoria’s Secret Already Taken

NORFOLK, Va. — Unwilling to face his daughter’s sexuality, Ghent resident Larry Ramsey was forced to stand awkwardly outside the Victoria’s Secret in MacArthur Center yesterday after discovering the nearby bench was already occupied by another [read more ... ]