Dominion Hires Ja Rule as Environmental Consultant for Riverrock Festival

RICHMOND, Va. — Dominion Energy has retained the services of rapper and amateur event planner Ja Rule to coordinate this year’s Dominion Riverrock Festival, sources confirmed Wednesday.

Fresh off the success of 2017’s Fyre Festival, Ja Rule was brought in to add his own special flair to Richmond’s annual sports and music event. While Riverrock drew an estimated 100,000 attendees last year, Dominion stated their desire to expand attendance this year. Seth Henderson, a Dominion spokesperson, believes that turning event planning over to Ja Rule will help them in the right direction.

“The decision to hire Ja Rule is rooted in our desire to provide the best possible experience for Richmond residents, and is in no way a public relations strategy to distract from our destruction of the Blue Ridge Mountains,” Henderson stated in a recent press release.

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Ja Rule has promised a fleet of private jets and a luxury cruise line to transport revelers to Brown’s Island for the three day event. He also plans to have a Cristal slip ‘n slide and will deliver barges of high-end party suites to the location. Suite rentals will start at $10,000 per day.

“You know it’s crazy, Dominion approached Ja Rule about kick starting the Riverrock Festival,” Rule said shortly after joining the planning team. “You know, the river has been rockin’ for a few years now, but it ain’t got the Ja Rule magic yet. We can make this a real spectacle.”

In addition to managing the festival experience, Rule is also helping to bring talent to the event. According to a source close to the artist’s camp, Rule claimed to have verbal agreements from both Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls to perform, and celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has supposedly been hired to cater the event.

However, despite Rule’s claims, representatives from Dominion assert that they have not seen any contracts. Representatives also maintain that Rule has been less than cooperative with the actual planning of the event and they doubt his ability to deliver on his promises.

A representative for Ja Rule refuted claims that the Rule missed repeated phone calls with Dominion representatives and frequently showed up late to planning meetings.

The representative told reporters, “Mr. Rule may not always be there when you call, but he is always on time.”

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